There are days I couldn't face visiting Mama and rare though they were, I had to listen to my inner voice and not visit. It would only make it a bad visit for the both of us and it took me awhile to figure this out.
Caregivers have to be strong and in the right frame of mind when visiting their loved ones. This is especially true when visiting a nursing home which can be depressing. At times communication with the staff can be challenging and it can wear the caregiver down but "the show must go on."
In our situation my husband and I made a good team. I would talk to the staff to get the updates on what was going on with Mama while he would keep Mama occupied by playing cards or doing her nails.
I'd always make sure I was "up" and did some deep breathing before going inside for the "show" to begin. Mama was always "the star" but we were the best "costars" she could have. We brought humor and music to our nightly visits and those were the coping tools that worked for all of us. I would joke and say that we were the twisted trio.
From my experience the best advice I could give to caregivers is to make sure it's all about them. You know your loved one best, so use whatever it takes to help them be in their happy place so that the show can go on.
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